False Equivalence

Yiketh, that’s a false equivalenth.

Did you seriously just compare me to Hitler?

LOL, can I just claim automatic victory? Godwin’th law.

I am not Hitler.

I’m really not.

Seriously.

For one thing, Hitler was Austrian. I’m from California.

For another, he had that mustache. Me? I have a beard.

Hitler was romantically involved with Eva Braun, the affable Katie Couric of German politics.

I, on the other hand, am in a polyamorous, pansexual relationship with Jackie, Steve, and Gregica.

We are nothing alike.

Hitler was a vegetarian, while I’m a vegan. This shows what a monster Hitler was.

Hitler was a non-drinker, while I sip on craft beer with my partners.

Look at how Hitler dressed! The cringe! Nobody knew how to dress in 1944.

Also, Hitler was charismatic and driven.

I’m not.

Hitler had intelligence and courage.

I don’t.

Hitler had a soul, even if he was evil.

I just have genes. I can’t be evil because naturalism leads to determinism.

Hitler believed in straight white male supremacy, while I believe in equality.

I heard from others that equality is desirable, and thanks to my brain evolving to hear this claim and agree with it, it was determined that I would agree with it and repeat it.

People with souls feel validation from just being themselves. I need to feel validation from others being the same as me in order to feel I belong in the universe.

I know deep down that none of us are equal, but I believe in trying to make it so.

I guess you could say I believe in false equivalence.